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miracles again for future pilgrims

by mother explosives

/
1.
we put the dog to sleep cried most of saturday we named the ones we'd catch and save never to see the light again i dug a hole beneath the pitch pine tree you cried you cried while i wept and dug the dirt wiped the sweat and stared at you your tiny hands gripped the edges of my shirt let's put our minds at ease and use bottles we can't use everyday and in a way that leads us both to say i was weak now i'm strong my only weakness was thinking i was lost and sober you look fine in the way you address the reckless parts of my audience my sordidness of heart we moved out of that place to chop the walnut frame she stops short of laughing in a way no he don't deserve my tears not today we put down payments on the moving truck and sang old songs on the piano on the bench in the back of it the line haul charges won't change my hopes of hopes of moving minutes from where we come from who cares where we go dramamine dog in my clothes old notes from dad songs i wrote on the door on the fridge in the kitchen in the dark said "you're gonna love me when you gonna love me the same?"
2.
marguerite 03:32
i called everybody in my whole god damned phone nobody picked up i took all the money from my bank account all my funds are dried up i all the money and i went out west i laid my head in topeka for a rest i met a girl named marguerite she took my money left me broke and asleep nobody picks up the pieces i leave in the places i have been the mess that i'll make with my lies and friends i close my eyes i cant fall asleep the pillow keeps talking talking to me
3.
you shot yourself while i was killing my ego in North Carolina it never snows in these mountains we told lies to each other to the mountains when we'd drink I hear it's snowing right now in Keno this December while someone pounds the Hammond organ down in the valley singing to themselves as the snows fall and the song lifts: the sun goes down tonight i thought there'd be more bodies after such a long lonely fight in fact there are none except for the one hidden under ponderosa pines one more lone coyote looks over his right shoulder before he disappears into the Cascade mountains again i've never been i bet it's lovely in the spring Maybe we find you Maybe we don't I'd rather go on thinking with droplets of hope how you've gone surfing in the South Pacific or somewhere speaking broken Spanish to the local woman and singing
4.
yesterday came and went and today became yesterday again you commented on the comet as it passed overhead i placed a coma in to keep the world apart and keep the words inside my heart instead of falling on the ground like a shadow without a man to follow him around and swallow all of your insides i still might if you'd allow it swallow your insides you could take my trouble away the funny thing about the trouble is it comes back but it still temporarily goes away go away i'm not coming home i spent too long on the other side on the wrong side of the long rode i'm not coming and you can't make me just you wait and see i'll be fine no woe is me content to call this home even though you went away it is still where i remain even though is this the beginning or is this the end i don't know i can't remember it i paced for fifteen minutes in one sock sliding across the carpet with my hands waving free all the pain i use to feel with a smile strapped on tight i didn't make my bed i didn't even the make it to the floor at the top of the stairs staring at the empty pill bottle as i go buzzing out the door
5.
lydia 02:14
it's a lie it's a secret it's the way i feel it's a hungry it's a lonely it's a keel keel keel it's knowing i am lost it's knowing i am wrong i get lost in these mountains i get lost in my home lydia didn't want to come i said i knew the way she followed me cross ridges and she followed me cross streams what's the point in using maps what's the point in reading maps if i'm blind and i'm drunk and i'm lying to myself stop the rain when i'm crying tell the wind i can't breath while the valleys grow deeper with the secrets that i'll keep crumpled in my pockets folded in my hand dog-eared and torn and yet i'm still just a man make me love when i hate shine light where its dark i'm going to keep on hoping through the gloom and disheart to forgive all the wrong sing harmony over the clamor then forget myself bring joy and understanding
6.
i ain't getting much younger since i moved down south i've been learning to wait it's been working out you left in october in a twin engine plane with streaks of mascara and my soggy bearded face losing never been easy it's almost too much to bear it will always be painful it will always be near when the band plays our song i ain't one for complaining the hand i get dealt but this big house is empty and so is my chest every movie i'm watching my mind walks towards you every aisle in grocery makes me want you too i guess i'll be alright i'm sure i'll move on find a girl in the next town for now i'll write another song it's two days till friday another drunk weekend mess i'll be calling at midnight broken heart and collect
7.
i was afraid of you when you walked up to my house i can be so loud when you wake up in my house i could be yours i could be boring sitting alone thinking
8.
if you are sleeping i won't wake you when i come to bed you will not even hear me open drawers or drop my keys onto the hardwood floors meet me at the rivers edge i'll teach you skipping stones and i'll think home was never meant for making anxious bones beneath you chest we swear too much i can't focus on the words you say without my own words getting ready escape move piles around the bookshelf i can't help if i work it i might stop it but it builds itself from in the middle of fingertips and carries all this oxygen i'm just a man with electric under skin under scored by what he says not who he is vibrations in the cellar are still just nothing or do the mean something to him bury stones in the backyard beside the shed make silent prayers so noone hears as i stare facing chestnut knob thinking i could save the world on my next turn or be a sumpter for those who wonder or still stumble in the dark i don't feel tired when awake i don't feel nothing at all "blow winds and crack your cheeks" i hope you screamed it i can see it on the mountain dance spin twisting i know you shouted if you come back i'll say more of what i should have though it's just words i can't sing them barely think them so i guess we'll wait and see then

about

A collection of several more machines

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released July 9, 2014

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mother explosives Brevard, North Carolina

Mother Explosives has lived all of his life in the Great Appalachian Valley.


His songs feel familiar until you spend more and more time in them and ultimately realize there are corners of this house you haven’t looked in before. It is warm, encompassing, different. These are songs you can walk around in. Songs you can sow into the lining of your jacket
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